Confessions of a Bad Make-up Artist

Luckily, this bad make-up artist isn't paid for their art...people just see it on my face. We've already established that I need extensive Bare Minerals special education classes, liquid liner therapy, and bronzer boot camp; but now I've reached an all-time low! I'm starting to have problems just making the regular old plain-jane foundation (compact or liquid) look decent! I didn't wear pencil eye liner until my senior year of college, so it's understandable that I have my off days (goodness knows I stay away from liquid and cream liner like an alcoholic avoids Northgate). But, foundation. Really? Maybe this is a case of "it's not me, it's you." Most mornings tatooed eyeliner sounds good, but then I remember how I get bored with cosmetics and change before it's even close to 100% used (I don't use lots of fancy trendy stuff or wear a lot, but I change what I wear all the time) so that thought goes out the bathroom window. Then I wonder, could I get my foundation tatooed on? I don't think I can...maybe laser treatment would be the closest equivalent. My "American Dream" includes (in addition to the typical list) perfect skin (preferrably tan, but we all know I will never be Latina tan so I will have to settle for my Banana Boat in a bottle) that never needs foundation, blush or bronzer and eyes that only need a little mascara. Is that shallow? Yes. Ridiculous? Probably. Understandable? Definitely. I always say I want to be tall, tan, and twiggy...3 adjectives I know will never be used to describe a short, white, average size girl...but haven't you wanted to be something you aren't while accepting what you are? =)