Precious Moments

I've said several things (innocently) and done several ridiculous things...all sincerely. I usually end up with my foot in my mouth or relieved I'm alone when something happened-or wishing I was alone! Anywho, I was just thinking about all the things I should be ashamed of, but I'm not

*frequently driving down the road and having a mini-panic attack b/c I don't know where my keys are (the car is moving, duh, they are in the ignition)

*putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave and flipping out and jerking the door open as soon as I hear popping (thinking it's butter or something) only to realize it's supposed to be popping

*conversation with new girl in Zumba: me-"so do you go to Kilgore College?", girl-"oh, no.", me-"ohhh, ok, do you go to Kilgore High School or another local high school?", girl-"no ma'am. I'm in 6th grade.", me-"oh."...she looked older than me, and I really didn't know what else to say other than "does your mother know you left the house wearing those tiny shorts and that top? And has she seen your make-up? Put some clothes on honey, you're going to end up getting one of those guys out there charged with statutory rape."...but I refrained.

*I can't open cans of biscuits. They scare me. In OFYP we used cans of biscuits for an experiment. One exploded on the table and I jumped and had to catch my breath...with 20 teenagers watching.

*conversation and the person I was talking about chimed in: me-"I really like those flowy tops, but I've never found one I can wear as a dress too." girl-"Uhhh...it's a dress, not a top." Oops...could've fooled me. If the air conditioner kicked on we would've had a show worthy of BabyDolls (ETX folks know it...)

*conversation and I didn't realize she was talking about her baby (to be born soon): lady-"Yeah, I'm so excited! We finally decided on a name! It's XXXXX" (I'll use X's to protect the innocent, and unfortunate, child). me-"Oh, I love that name! When are you getting your puppy?" lady-"It's my baby's name." me-"Oh. Great name."

*I saw one of my least favorite students working at Whataburger when I went through the drive-thru one night after coming home from Dallas...I could feel the "deer-in-the-headlights" look creep over my face and couldn't hide it...she saw it and flashed me a lovely sign..I didnt' return the favor.

*While walking into Wal-Mart: guy in car-"Hey, Girl...my homie thinks you real purdy." Me-"My name isn't girl....and I'm sorry." guy in car-"You could at least say thank you" Me-"I'm not thankful." guy in car-"b----" Me-"I know. Sorry, but thank you"...It was scary, and I should've kept my mouth shut...none of my replies were in a rude tone, just matter of fact.  I was freaked out, and didn't really know how to respond

*I baked (tried) Shawn a Splenda birthday cake from scratch...both layers were flat as pancakes and brick-like...I still served it to him, but he didn't eat it...for his own good and health.

*I once spent an entire church service trying to figure out why this girl's dress straps looked so weird only to finally figure out it was b/c she put the silky hanger straps up on her shoulders with the actual straps...I was wondering why her dress has two sets of straps and one set was coming from a weird place underneath...her mom needs to address that.

There's more from high school (the Papacita's birthday mistake) and college, but these are in the last few months. Not everything is so obvious....